Anonymous asked: how do u make polygamy work if youre in a serious relationship? like how do u stop the other person from feeling like they just arent good enough for you on their own? im not trying to knock you im just trying to get my head round it.
I have found that it is important for me to be with partners who are also very busy with their own lives and relationships. Communication, compassion, and loving attentiveness are absolutely key. I am very connected to both of my partners and am always sending them texts about my day and photos of my adventures when I’m away. We also Skype and talk on the phone pretty regularly. I think sometimes my style of communication can feel a bit brutally honest, because I am completely up front about my needs with my partners from square one. I give them the full truth and the open opportunity to discuss their needs with me. If our needs don’t match, we don’t become involved on that level (or at least that’s the idea). I decided a while ago that I have too much love to give and too much inspiration to offer to limit the organic flow in my relationships of any type. It certainly hasn’t been entirely a walk in the park, in my current situation, because I had been dating Jason as my primary partner for 9 months before I met and fell madly in love with Dylan. It was a difficult transition for everyone, especially Jason. But with loving, attentive, and careful communication, we were able to come out the other end closer and more in love than before. We both believe that, despite the difficulty at first, my connecting with Dylan actually saved our relationship. Both of my partners have read The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz and regard it highly as I do. I recommend it to every human on the planet, especially those interested in living any type of poly lifestyle. It’s an easy to read, incredibly understandable and well written book, and it’s available for free in PDF form online. Polyamory isn’t for everyone. I have no illusions that polyamory is a “better way” or anything like that. I experience jealousy occasionally and have worked very hard to transform my jealousies into inspiration and personal growth. Through this open experience of my own feelings of jealousy, I have learned a great deal about myself and about functioning effectively, healthily, and lovingly in relationships. I look at jealousy as an opportunity to dig deep within and more fully develop a loving relationship with myself. Loving myself and focusing on self care has been the number one saving grace in my ability to love others fully enough and compassionately enough to life a poly lifestyle. I believe self love and care are vital for any happy, healthy, loving relationship. I hope this answers your questions. Thank you for taking interest! Love and light!